Time Flies Even When You're Not Having Fun

Somehow it has been eight days since either of us has blogged! Which makes me feel better in a way because that means it's only been 10 days since Jeff and I have seen each other, and I'm leaving in just two (long) hours to go see him!

I cannot tell you all enough how much easier life would be for me if Jeff and I were in the same city. I don't want to complain about my life too much (it's not bad at all), but every little thing wouldn't seem so bad if I had him to come home to. Obviously, we try to talk as much as possible, but the phone just isn't the same, and our schedules simply do not coincide! It's so frustrating for me that I start to fall asleep around 10pm and Jeff is just starting on his homework or is still at one of the many meetings he has to go to every night.

I have been emotional the last week. Last weekend, I went back to Bloomington for a night to see Ashton, my roommate from last year. It was very sad. Driving into campus was difficult because I felt like I had never left. I had to force myself to avoid North Jordan Avenue and Kappa Delta because I knew it would be impossible to not go inside and stay forever! I had an awesome time with Ashton and her boyfriend Michael talking and drinking and going to Nick's and Kilroys (not Sporttttsssss-haha, inside joke, I guess). It was just hard because I had no where to go. I hung out with my brother at his dorm and at Ashton's apartment, but I didn't have a home there. It was very weird.

I also realized that I take all of these things and internalize them and then it just shoots out of me at random times. For example, on Sunday morning after I slept from 10pm-11:30am (clearly enough sleep - clue #1 I am sad/lonely), I woke up to find that my mom had made french toast for everyone and didn't wake me up. I freaked out. I mean, I threw a bonafide tantrum. My mom said if I were three years old and acting like that, I'd be sent to time out. I replied that if I were three years old, she would have made me breakfast. Haha. Really, though, I was mad/sad because I was lonely and they had gone out all night Saturday leaving me alone and left out.

Then, things that don't even happen to me make me sad. On the Biggest Loser premiere, there was a woman whose husband, 5-year-old daughter and 2.5-week-old-son were all killed in a car accident. I sobbed! And, as I'm sitting here anxiously awaiting my day to end thinking about it, I am tearing up a little! As if that weren't enough, I finished reading My Sister's Keeper last night...saddest book ever, and I won't spoil it for you because it was also a wonderful, thought-provoking book. Anyway, I had sad dreams all night because of it. I don't remember them, but I remember the feelings I got from them.

I'm pretty much going no where fast with this post, so I'll try to get on track. Jeff is so busy that I think he forgets what a sensitive person I am and has teased me a lot for being sad for no reason. That added to the fact that I feel like we haven't talked very much in the last 10 days just really adds to my sadness, so it's a very good thing that I'm traveling up there this weekend. We won't have as much time to spend together as we did over Labor Day, but I'm sure it will be wonderful anyway.